Thursday, August 15, 2013

Survivor's Guilt

Have you ever been the last one standing and felt guity leaving the other people behind?

It could be caused by many things... from surviving a traumatic accident, a war, a natural disaster caused by Mother Nature, a death, to even just playing a competitive game. Or in my case, being one of four employees that are left emplyoed after five other co-workers are informed that they will no longer have a job.

It's hard to recognize the fact that I'm a valued employee when I feel the heartbreak for the others. It's hard to be happy to have a job when there are so many unanswered questions. So much shock. It's hard to convince myself that it's not my fault and it's not a consequence of my personal actions. It's business. And a business must make decisions that are best for the future of the business.

This is how it all went down...

We had a mandatory meeting after work for both offices in this area. None of us knew what it was about. Of course we talked to each other about how curious and nervous we were to find out what it was about.

 As soon as I seen that an employee from human resources was there, my stomach dropped and I started shaking. I knew it wasn't going to be good news. I also knew they weren't going to fire anyone with all of us there. I had a bad feeling it was going to be that the one of the offices was closing.

They gathered us in a group and told us they were doing some evaluating and restructuring of the organization and they have come to the conclusion of closing one of our offices - the one I work at. 

Then they spilt us into two groups and named off who was in each group and told us they would discuss it further in smaller groups. One group was going to be offered a job at the office that remains open and the other group was being informed that they will no longer have a job.

I am the only one from my office that is being offered a job at the the other office. I won't know more about that until Monday.

There were a total of 5 people that were let go. Two of them were from my office and the other three were from the other office. Out of those 5 people, 2 of them had been employed there for 18 years. One of them had been there for 11 years, and the other two had between 4-7 years in.

It is so sad to experience something like this. I'm still at a loss for words. This quote best describes how to get through my feelings of survivor's guilt...

Sometimes the best thing you can do is not think, not wonder, not imagine, not obsess... just breathe and have faith that everything will work out for the best.

I came home from my meeting to this note on the driveway written in chalk by my litte sister. It was exactly what I needed.
~ Julie ~

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