Michael and I are taking a little get away soon... just the two of us. For the first time in years - 674 days to be exact. I'm excited to get away... But, what if I change my mind?
Since we gave birth to our daughter in March 2015... we've had three nights away with just the two of us. Just for the record those three nights were:
1) July 31st - the night before my scheduled c section
2) August 1st - the day I gave birth to our son
3) August 2nd - the second day of hospital recovery after ML's birth
My point is that those three days/nights aren't really considered "fun" or "quality time" as husband and wife... yes we've had occasional "dates" alone to the grocery store or out to eat. But that is not the same as an enjoyable overnight trip. Well... I assume based on pre-kids. 😏
I'll be honest, some days I'm at my wits ends with these kids. But I've always had a hard time leaving them. Whether it was when R was an only child or since I've become a mom to two under two. Sometimes I feel guilty for leaving them even if it's for 2 hours to take a trip to the grocery store kid free. I find myself rushing back home because I feel guilty that I left them. I don't stop wondering what they are doing or if they took a nap okay without me there to put them to sleep. Or if they miss me like I miss them. (I know, I sound insane)
When I found out my Mom and Greg were doing the Grace snowmobile ride again this year, I thought I'd mention it to Michael. It would be good for us to do something as husband and wife like we used to. We haven't rode our sleds in years due to me being pregnant the last two winters. I used to go riding on this trail ride with my friend Greg years ago and it was always so much fun. Michael's never went before, so I thought it would be a good opportunity to go. (Throw that budgeting goal out the window... whoops)
I mentioned it to Michael and he seemed interested. I was worried about committing to the event because what if I change my mind? After weeks of pondering... we took the plunge and registered for the ride. To say that I have had anxiety about this trip is an understatement...
What if we paid for the registration and as the trip approached I decided I couldn't leave the kids?
What if I miss my kids so terribly that I need to go home?
What if Remi won't go to bed without me tucking her in?
What if ML gets used to a bottle and doesn't nurse anymore? (I'm okay with this fear now that he's becoming a biter)
What if ML won't sleep because he's used to co-sleeping with me and I'm not here? (judge if you will)
What if I change my mind and I'm four hours away?
Don't even get me started on the fears I have of something going wrong while I'm gone.
Long story short, I'm leaving my babies for the first "real" time overnight. Three nights to be exact. On the plus side, Michael and I will get to focus on each other for a change and I'll maybe get some sleep (that is if I don't stay awake thinking/worrying about my babies).
Keep me/us in your thoughts and prayers if you don't mind.... and send wine. 😊
When was the first time you left your child(ren) overnight? Was it worth it?! Just say yes. 😉